One Year Ago: The Match Meeting

Yes, it really is called a Match Meeting, and it is the moment both parties–the birth family and the adoptive family–meet for the first time. We had our meeting just one week after receiving The Call. We drove about four hours north to where the birth mother and her family lived, and as you can imagine, my stomach was in knots the entire journey. We spent our time talking, planning, and praying. As we became closer, my breathing got shallower and shallower, and I thought I was going to have a panic attack! Thankfully, God calmed my heart, and I pulled it together.

We walked into the restaurant, the first ones in the party to arrive. The birth mother’s father arrived, then the social worker, and then about ten minutes later she arrived with her grandmother. I’ll always remember the moment she walked in, when it all started to sink in. She was over eight months pregnant, and seeing her with her baby bump, knowing that she was carrying a baby girl that could possibly become ours…it was incredible.

Somehow, amidst the strangeness of what was taking place, we all settled in, and our nerves relaxed. I had feared it would feel like an interrogation, but it was actually pleasant, two families getting to know each other. We talked about our lives, our families, our homes. We actually had a lot in common! They asked why we were choosing adoption; we asked her the same. It really was a time to try to understand each other, and most importantly, feel at ease about moving forward with the adoption.

She had brought our adoption profile with her, and she shared that she and her grandmother had separately poured over a pile of profiles, and both of them had settled on us in their top two. She said she chose us because we looked happy together. She also said she loved that we love Disneyland. Ha! We were always told you never know what detail about your life might draw someone to you. Of all the things, it was Disney!

We spent about two hours together, and then we said good-bye to the family. We spoke for a few minutes with the social worker there, then called our social worker on the way home. For the most part, we felt secure and at peace, even though I did have a total meltdown somewhere along the drive home. No matter how good things felt and how happy we were with the meeting, it still was overwhelming, frightening, and it still had all the makings of heartbreak. But even with all that, it was hard not to be excited. Although we hoped she would choose to continue the adoption with us, we knew that no matter what, God had a child for us. Of course just two days later, we received the news that she was choosing us to be the adoptive parents of her baby. The meeting was a success. We were matched!

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